hope springs eternal

I am never going to delete the voicemail Suzanne left me tonight. (I can save it with the text message I still have on my old cell phone, "Knocked up!"  when she first got pregnant with Rory.)  Breanna and I stopped at the drugstore on the way home from dance class to get some cold/flu medicine for a very sick Mike (his hours awake today: 5 total. Bless his heart.)  When we got home, I took my phone out and noticed I had a voicemail.  It was from Suzanne...my heart sank. I mean, after the spate of bad news from her, how could it not???  I played it as I got pots and pans out for dinner....and ended it with my jaw hanging open, unable to form thoughts or words. I played it again.  I called her back and left her what I am sure was a pretty incoherent message.  The only thing I remember saying is, "You can call back anytime. I will stay awake all night if I have to!"  She called back within 30 minutes. 

Her liver biopsy came back.  She is so special that she has TWO different types of cancer.  At the same time. This is incredibly rare.  Even stranger, the liver cancer is not liver cancer - it's a digestive cancer. Original site? Unknown.  The cervical cancer is now a stage 2B (!!!!!!!), but the liver is 4.  More testing, headed out to Dana Farber (to see my kind of doc, an endocrinology oncologist) as the liver cancer is so rare (she is SUPER extra special!), then we proceed with two treatments (we think).  Also, the liver cancer is not as agressive as metastasized cervical cancer, making it more treatable and (hopefully) life-extending. 

Our official line is cautiously optimistic, but I cannot describe the feeling in my heart....I felt hope literally blossom like a flower in my chest.  As it spread, I felt weight lift off my shoulders, I felt the dark clouds begin to dissipate in my mind.....I felt joy again.  I laughed. 

Oh, please Lord, let this be true.  Let this be the miracle for which we so desperately pray each day. And, Lord, if it cannot be the miracle, let it at least be the gift of time......anything is better than the measly 9 months we were holding so tightly this morning. 

I believe!  I BELIEVE!!