foster the people

Five years ago, my husband and I became foster parents.  It was a long road - classes, more paperwork than a thesis, more signatures than your mortgage, fingerprints, letters to parents and potential foster children, home visits, panel discussions, role playing, fire and safety checks, and then boom!  Our certificate came, and we were ready to go.  Of course, it came around the same time as the results of my thyroid biopsy.  So, the fostering had to wait. 

I learned right away that, sadly, there are always kids out there who need you.  No matter how often we said "no" when they called us with placements (surgery, recovery, treatment, isolation, recovery, med adjustments), they still kept calling us.  To this day, it hurts my heart to have to say "no" (though actually saying it is easier).

Often the call comes before a child is even in foster care.  The possiblity exists, CPS (Child Protective Services) are headed to the home with police and whatever they need, and "if this child comes in, can you take him/her/them?"  We had a bunch like that before we had our first actual placement.  And, as with any placement, you go into chaos-management overdrive.  What do you need to live with a child of this age? What do you have already? What can you borrow? What do you need to go to the store to get? What store? When? Who will do this? Who will do that? It's like a shot of crazy adrenaline! 

Me, I make lists. I take copious, fast notes when the homefinder caseworker calls us - jotting down any and every piece of information I am given.  I ask questions, jot down my answers. Another paper comes out: what do we need?  My mind races.....I am usually at work, so I call my husband and we brainstorm some more. Yet, I know I have not covered all my bases. 

So, I call/text/email Suzanne.  We often get called with babies, and well, she has babies.  She knows!  I distinctly recall one time when we were called for a 6 month old girl.  Potentially coming in to care that night. We said yes, and the lists began.  Well, my list was woefully inadequate - I think I even forgot bottles!  Thankfully, Suzanne was there for me....we went over my list, and she added the missing pieces.  Plus, she did not make fun of me for being such a dumb ass.  She is good people.  (Oh, and the 6 month old girl did not end up coming into foster care. I still say a prayer that she is okay.  She is probably 6 now.)

Thanks to Suzanne, I am better prepared these days.  We have a "foster baby" box under a bed.  It contains some necessities: bottles, liners, regular bottles, spoons, baby monitor, blankets, bibs, burp cloths, etc.  We have a pack-and-play, which is the perfect bed for a little one who drops into your life unexpectedly!  But, I still ask for validation, for reassurance, for the missing pieces of my list.  And she is there to fill in what I have missed, to ask me what I need, to reassure, to help. 

We took in a baby boy almost a month ago now.  We were in pretty good shape for him (see above paragraph), but we needed a high chair.  Knowing Crosby needed his, I didn't call/text/email Suzanne.  I put a quick update on Facebook:  "We have a little one staying with us for a few days, and we need a high chair.  Does anyone have one we could have/borrow?"  Who do you think responded first? Whose high chair do you think is now attached to my table?  Of course, Suzanne's.  Crosby uses the standing high chair, they also have a table-attaching one.  "Take it, Crosby's not big enough for it yet."

I'm not sure I can be a foster parent without Suzanne.  She's my lifeline, my Google, my baby whisperer, my brain, my person.  It is reason #995,674,357,190,872,109,724 why she is going to beat this thing.  The foster children need her!  Well, at least the ones who live in my house do.